Alan, who turned out to be an acupuncturist and chinese herbalist, came to see me after the morning teachings. In spite of the unbearable heat and my poor health I managed to drag myself out of bed, rationalizing my behaviour by thinking "I'll get some Tibetan medicine on the way."
Geshe-la was thus showing me where my priorities really were, and that I definitely wasn't ready for the celibate life of a nun! It became quite clear that the motivation to attend the teachings wasn't as strong as the motivation to be around Alan.
When we were leaving Gyakham Khangtsen, a couple was arriving and asked "Where are you going?" "To Ganden Monastery," replied Geshe-la. "Shall we join you?" they asked. "No. You, maybe tomorrow." "Hmm, a match making monk?" I remember wondering at the time.
Thursday 10th January Ornament of Clear realization Haribadra. P too ill to go to teachings. Finish at lunchtime. Go with geshe Thinley to Ganden. Buy incence. P gets Tibetan medicine. Then Geshe Wangchen teachings. Then Geshe Damcho-la teachings. Then chat with P. She kisses me sweetly. We have hug in my room. [Alan's diary]